Somehow... I feel like something is bothering you...
I feel bad... I know that it's better to talk it out.. 
But I'm sorry... I don't think I'm ready for now... and I know u know it..  I appreciate it... thank u... and sorry...
I don't think I can handle 'ngomong serius' dulu based on last time...

I kinda scared of myself will have that kind of breakdown again...

Ever heard of 'sub-drop'? According to fanfics it's a state where u kinda lost in your submission state of mind and blanked out...
Maybe that's similar to what I felt that time... but not submission, just blanked out, you recognized your surrounding but your mind is fuzzy, lost, and you just not be able to responded to any call or movement to you, your tears falls uncontroalby, but you know that someone try to reach you, but can't just reach back...

By the time I have myself back, I'm tired, and scared... I dunno what just happened to me... I just know that I just... blanked out?

I'm scared that will happen again...

But I know we have to have a 'talk' sooner or later...  I'm sorry I can't now... thank u for ur understanding... but I'm sorry...